tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post7698912841072185653..comments2023-11-02T09:35:37.424-04:00Comments on American Center for Surreal and Paranoid Life: Children's bedtime story #1 (complete text)flichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328624043951840822noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-33812005689129515782023-03-14T20:02:23.831-04:002023-03-14T20:02:23.831-04:00Thank you for nice information. Please visit our w...Thank you for nice information. 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href="http://www.chiflatiron.cn.com/" rel="nofollow">chi flat iron</a>, <a href="http://www.beatsbydrdreheadphones.in.net/" rel="nofollow">beats by dre</a>ninest123https://www.blogger.com/profile/04608652971148348518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-51752521490266129542007-03-17T01:39:00.000-04:002007-03-17T01:39:00.000-04:00canopenner- Thanks for the useful comments (actual...<B>canopenner</B>- Thanks for the useful comments (actually). Pop-up book? Nice idea! <BR/><BR/><BR/>You have a great day, too.flichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01328624043951840822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-73974523179153329982007-03-14T17:53:00.000-04:002007-03-14T17:53:00.000-04:001. Would you read this story to your (present or f...1. Would you read this story to your (present or future) child/niece/nephew?<BR/><BR/>Sure<BR/><BR/>2. What was the most memorable part or moment of this story for you?<BR/><BR/>The robot handshakes.<BR/><BR/>3. What do you think would be a good title for this story?<BR/><BR/>The Matrix<BR/><BR/>4. What kind of illustrations or artwork do you imagine would go best with this story?<BR/><BR/>A pop out book would be teh bomb<BR/><BR/>5. Any additional comments?<BR/><BR/>I am bad and didnt read what happened to the author. I am going to look now.<BR/><BR/>I liked the story alot.<BR/><BR/>But I also like robots, alot.<BR/><BR/>Have a great day!Canopennerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00025710939899635215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-61825252364277049652007-03-09T19:38:00.000-05:002007-03-09T19:38:00.000-05:00helga von porno- Good observations! Thanks. George...<B>helga von porno</B>- Good observations! Thanks. George is already putting your observations at work in the editing process.flichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01328624043951840822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-38533522424377528642007-02-27T04:55:00.000-05:002007-02-27T04:55:00.000-05:00I think it is alright as a children's story. In a ...I think it is alright as a children's story. In a way its about growing up. A few irrelevances could be ieliminated, like the empty house bit. And the "did you say red button?" bit, though that last kind of opened up the imagination: What would have happened if the second robot had pressed the red button?bloggin the Questionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991456353878889126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-61171412209916001322007-02-21T05:33:00.000-05:002007-02-21T05:33:00.000-05:00kirsten n. namskau (at 4:10 AM)- Thanks so much fo...<B>kirsten n. namskau (at 4:10 AM)</B>- Thanks so much for your feedback. It got George to sit down after a high-frequency therapy automatic-writing session and sit down and "edit" this particular story while "tuned in" to a low-band frequency.<BR/><BR/>I've posted the updated version as you see it here in the post now.flichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01328624043951840822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-2477841877077832822007-02-15T10:08:00.000-05:002007-02-15T10:08:00.000-05:00hullo! =D thanks for your comment am so sorry am s...hullo! =D thanks for your comment am so sorry am so absolutely slow in replying =( and no i don't have 2 toiletry baskets. i think i'm just v tired! will re-read your story again when am more awake! =Dditzydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03008315483151243641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-43995616604097731562007-02-15T04:10:00.000-05:002007-02-15T04:10:00.000-05:00I think the author of this story has taken knowled...I think the author of this story has taken knowledge or experienced something he can not handle. Something more or else that what is official registered. Something he has not talked about. <BR/>This is his way of telling, what he actually don't dear to talk about, because if he do he will not be believed/taken serious after all. <BR/><BR/>(As I have study picture-desiphiring, I can desipher stories in the same way, using the same tecnique.That doesn't necessary mean I'm all correct though.)Kirsten N. Namskauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17110807096491484051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-40789852431496976942007-02-14T17:03:00.000-05:002007-02-14T17:03:00.000-05:00Thanks everyone for the excellent and useful feedb...<B>Thanks everyone for the excellent and useful feedback!<BR/><BR/>At this point, I've decided to include the entire transcript of the story in a single post (rather than in segments), so that you may read the story in it's entirety in one reading.<BR/><BR/>So please continue with the reader's feedback!<BR/><BR/>-----------------------------------<BR/><BR/>And therefore, the comments that appear above my comment here, are comments based on readers reading the <I>first three paragraphs</I> of the story <I>only</I>.<BR/><BR/>And so, the comments after my comment here will be comments regarding the children's bedtime story as a completed transcript.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again!</B>flichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01328624043951840822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-78073709077321565262007-02-14T12:08:00.000-05:002007-02-14T12:08:00.000-05:00as written,i wouldn't read itit's more a collectio...as written,<BR/>i wouldn't read it<BR/><BR/>it's more a collection of ideas (some good & interesting ones) than a story, imo -- has potential to be worked up<BR/><BR/>that handshake sequence is memorable, v. cool<BR/><BR/>/t.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-23405705437062857532007-02-14T00:03:00.000-05:002007-02-14T00:03:00.000-05:001. Yes, i would read it to my kid.2. the most memo...1. Yes, i would read it to my kid.<BR/>2. the most memorable part: that the kids didn't know they were controlling these robots.<BR/>3. Title: Remote Control<BR/>4. illustrations: watercolors suggesting space, fighting robots, blues and reds and whites<BR/>5. seems like Young Adult Science Fictioncarriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02469687837320547454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-48667543041394010432007-02-13T14:26:00.000-05:002007-02-13T14:26:00.000-05:00I would (heck, my daughter and I have read Alice i...I would (heck, my daughter and I have read Alice in Wonderland and THought the Looking Glass twice, at age 4 and age 7)<BR/><BR/>The second paragraph is the most griping, but there is some discontent between the shaking and fighting, etc<BR/><BR/>I to thought of those plastic robots (Blockheads) that you tried to knock the head off the other person.<BR/><BR/><BR/>thanks for stopping by my blogsagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17499891950639742366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-23650973696037063452007-02-12T15:11:00.000-05:002007-02-12T15:11:00.000-05:00Oh, see, now I did not read about George...I assum...Oh, see, now I did not read about George...<BR/><BR/>I assumed that it was a kid writing the story because of the language used. It is so hard to write in kid language that most people cannot do it. Kids really appreciate it if you can speak in their language, a skill George obviously has.<BR/><BR/>And I would guess he is pretty intelligent as well. Superstring themes and all.<BR/><BR/>Don't give up George.<BR/>I think you may just have some kids of your own some day.<BR/>31 ain't that old!!<BR/><BR/>Lookit old Don Trump, he is ancient, lookit that geezer who married foxy Catherine Zeta Jones.<BR/>Women have the biological clock thing. You men have your whole life to make babies!<BR/><BR/>I will pray for you OK honey? Sorry you are going through such a hard time!Infinitesimalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02130512550173905348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-79995317066111247182007-02-12T15:03:00.000-05:002007-02-12T15:03:00.000-05:001. Would you read this story to your (present or f...1. Would you read this story to your (present or future) child/niece/nephew?<BR/><BR/>YES, as it was written in kid- language (hard to do)<BR/><BR/>2. What was the most memorable moment in this part of the story for you?<BR/>The handshake description<BR/><BR/>3. What do you think would be a good title for this story?<BR/>Need more information<BR/><BR/>4. What kind of illustrations do you imagine would go best with this story?<BR/>Not sure....<BR/><BR/>5. Any additional comments?<BR/>First thing that came to mind while reading was that a kid wrote it, the kid is very creative and that the theme of the story is Superstring theory in Quantum Physics.<BR/><BR/>Way to go Kid!!Infinitesimalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02130512550173905348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-18198853630617782942007-02-11T20:45:00.000-05:002007-02-11T20:45:00.000-05:001. Would you read this story to your (present or f...1. Would you read this story to your (present or future) child/niece/nephew?<BR/>No, I wouldn't read it as it's currently written.<BR/><BR/>2. What was the most memorable moment in this part of the story for you?<BR/>The robots being referred to as maniacs.<BR/><BR/>3. What do you think would be a good title for this story?<BR/>The Tale of the Riotous Robots.<BR/><BR/>4. What kind of illustrations do you imagine would go best with this story?<BR/>Maybe vibrant pastels or oil paint. Something very bold.<BR/><BR/>5. Any additional comments?<BR/><BR/>The concept of kids playing with toys and that play somehow controlling robots elsewhere is interesting and potentially intriguing to a child reader/listener. However, the vocabulary needs to match the audience age level. For example, words like maniac and freaky may be more appropriate for an 8 or 9 year-old, while the storyline here -- as simplistic as it's being presented -- is more for a 4-6 year old.<BR/><BR/>It may also help the reader for the author to explain the big picture first (the two boys playing with toys) before getting to the details of the robots.Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05008427246799771860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-91903582732466959012007-02-11T12:05:00.000-05:002007-02-11T12:05:00.000-05:001) I doubt I would read it for any child, but it a...1) I doubt I would read it for any child, but it also depends on the rest of the story ... And after some years, who knows.<BR/><BR/>2) ... Little did they know that they also controlled the robots.<BR/><BR/>3) "The Rulers Of The Innocence"<BR/><BR/>4) Don't know<BR/><BR/>5) ...Kirsten N. Namskauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17110807096491484051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29236216.post-86558295661707065732007-02-11T11:52:00.000-05:002007-02-11T11:52:00.000-05:001. Probably, but I wouldn't read it to my son now...1. Probably, but I wouldn't read it to my son now (who is two). This story would probably be suitable for children ages 4-8. <BR/><BR/>2. The second paragraph, because it's action-driven, and pulls the reader deeper into the scene described in the first paragraph.<BR/><BR/>3. Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots (he-he)<BR/>Probably something with a catchy, fun title. Can't think of one presently.<BR/><BR/>4. Comic book illustrations would be fun to see...but there isn't dialogue so far, so maybe straight color illustrations of the robots.<BR/><BR/>5. This is an engaging children's story, but it feels a little dumbed-down. Instead of saying "that's what makde it so strange", maybe the author could say something like "those strange [and silly] robots!" Or something that works on the mood in a more playful manner. My English teacher in grade school always emphasized show don't tell. It was a very valuable tip.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com